What is Love?
One way to get an idea of why love should be so important, why it is not considered to understand the purpose of life, is to look at the challenges of loneliness. Too often, we leave the topic of loneliness feeling insensitive: those without anyone to hold them feel ashamed of; those with the person (domain range) of the case. But the pain of loneliness is incredible and it is possible everywhere. We should not – above all – feel lonely with loneliness. Without knowing it, loneliness gives us the best understanding of why love is so important. Few experts are more concerned with the importance of love than those who have lost anyone to love. It is difficult to know what all the controversy around love can be until one does not, somewhere the way, spend some unwanted passages on the company of one person.
When we are alone, people may strive to show kindness; there may be invitations and touching touches, but it will be difficult to get out of the background line of interest and care provided. We have an obligation to limit the availability of well-meaning partners and feel the limits of the demands we can make on them. It’s too late – or too early – to call. In a weakened state, we would suspect it would disappear from the world and no one could see or care.
A typical company, we cannot simply share anything that goes through our minds: too much of our internal finances are too small or too big, too marked or anxious. Our acquaintances have a reasonable expectation, which it would be unwise to disarm, that their friend should be normal.
We have to work with a certain level of humility. No one experiences bitterness or inferiority, a certain personality or a particularly bitter sadness. We won’t work or explode. Our best planning for our actual price is the price we have to pay to be convinced.
We need to be more accepting of who we are and will not be easily understood. Some of the most worrying things we will encounter are the lack of understanding, loneliness or fear. Most people will not give a dam. Our deepest thoughts will be of little interest. We have to stand out as the fun but short-lived phases of the human mind.
All these aspects that kill the soul in peace, love promise to fix it. In conjunction with the loved one, there should be no limits to the depth of concern, care, attention and license granted to us. We will be more or less accepted as we are; we will not be under pressure to further prove our position. We will be able to uncover our extreme, senseless and compelling weaknesses and survive. It would be okay to have tantrums, bad singing and crying. We will be tolerated if we are inferior or temporarily bad. We will be able to wake them up at odd hours to share grief or joy. Our small climbs will be of interest. We’ll be able to bring up some surprising childhood themes (wouldn’t it be this since childhood, the last time some graciously spent so much energy discussing whether the button on our Cardigan should be made or left open).
Knowing about the traits of our loved ones, we can allow for some moments of unwrapping and enthusiasm. The thrill of love has come in stark contrast to our general disappointment and skepticism; seeing what is wrong with a person is normal, ending quickly and painlessly with no benefit. Love now gives us the power to build and to hold on to a wonderful story about a person. We are returned to great thanks. We appreciate the little details obviously: that they called us, that they wore some pullover, that they leaned their heads in their hands somehow, that they had a little scar on their left finger or some practice not knowing the name… It’s not unusual to take this kind of care for a fellow-creature, to see many things. the most touching, fulfilling and abusive of the other. This can be done by parents, artists or God. We can’t keep up with this kind of brain permanently, which is not always perfectly wise, but it is one of our best and most rewarding genres – and the genre of all – to give us a proper appreciation of the time of the real complexity, beauty, and beauty of another person.
One of the most surprising and critical aspects of one of these romances is that we do not wish to please our partners, and we are strongly influenced to want them physically. The birth of love is often dictated by what is actually the most amazing act; the two organs used for other food and speech are rubbed and pressed against each other with great force, accompanied by the presence of saliva. The tongue is often used interchangeably to produce vowel sounds or to push the mashed potatoes or broccoli on the back palate now forwards to unite with its counterpart, who says his tip can affect staccato’s repeated movements.
We can only begin to understand the role of sex in love if we are able to accept that it is not – from a physical standpoint – actually, a truly unique experience in itself, not always a more pleasurable experience than that of being skinned or eating oysters. Still, having sex with our partner can be one of the best things we’ve ever done.
The reason is that sex produces great psychological happiness. The sweetness we experience has its origin: the fact that you are allowed to do something very private with anyone else. The body of another person is a very protected and confidential place. It can be very frustrating for you to go up to a stranger and rub their cheeks or touch them between their legs. The conflict of consent involved in sex is amazing and great. We unquestionably point to the other person by not wearing them to be placed in a small, very polite class of people: giving them a special right.
Sexual pleasure is psychological. It is not so much that our bodies happen to do what enlightens us. This is what happens to our brains: acceptance is at the center of the kinds of experiences we call collectively as ‘opening.’ It feels physical – the blood pumps are quick, the gear is hot, the skin is hot – but after all this is left with a very different kind of change: the feeling of being alone.
Generally, civilization requires us to present our species that are strongly organized in others. It asks us to be clean, to be pure, and to be the best kind of people we can be. Demand comes at a higher internal cost. Important parts of our character are drawn into the shadows.
Mankind has long been fascinated – and deeply disturbed – by the conflict between our best intentions and the most urgent and exciting needs of our sexuality. In the early third century, a Christian scholar and saint, Origen, was attacked – because he was horrified at the gap between the man he wanted to be (controlled, kind and patient) and the kind of person he felt his sexuality made him (disgusting, disgusting and full of). It represents the extreme fact that it is, in fact, a normal and depressing state of affairs. We can meet people who are reinforcing this divide without even knowing it.
Someone who loves us sexually does something to redeem them properly: they stop making the difference between the different sides of who we are. They see that we are always the same person; that our gentleness or dignity in some cases is not true because we are in bed and vice versa. With the love of sex, we have the opportunity to solve one of the deepest, most complex problems of the human condition: how to be accepted for who we really are.